June 15-17 – This chapter was going to be a lot different until I got an email from Zach DeStefano, one of Kirsti’s best friends and a major reason for this trip in the first place.

You see, in college at the University of Vermont, Zach, his girlfriend Annie (remember Annie from Dallas?) and Kirsti were best friends.

Inseparable.

Zach and Annie had been dating since high school, but toward the end of college, they separated – which left Kirsti in the middle a bit.

Everybody is cordial now, but I think it was really tough on Zach, and his move from Vermont to pretty remote Ukiah was an attempt at a do-over, I think.

And now, thanks to Kirsti’s idea, we were headed to see him. Me for only a couple days, but Kirsti for several.

And until Zach’s heartfelt email to me, responding to my request to chat with him about our trip, I guess I didn’t realize how big of a deal it was for him.

“I hadn’t seen my friend in a while and I was going through a ton of life changes – mainly learning how to actually be independent. After living for months on my own, working intensely and learning how to live after a big breakup, I felt like I was existing in a state of discomfort. To me, the trip out represented some form of comfort coming back into my life, more of an optimistic anticipation,” he wrote.

Without really coming out and saying it, if you dissect what he wrote, he was saying he was lonely. He was stressing over work and prioritizing that, and often coming home to an empty apartment. He wasn’t having much fun, and wrote that he wasn’t sure he was entitled to fun anymore.

He said our arrival was so welcomed, and he loved that we were at his home when he’d get back from work. He also said we reminded him that friends and family need to be prioritized over work.

And in our 30-minute phone chat reminiscing about the trip, it became clear just how important she was in his life. He talked about how the reality of their friendship now is that they’ll never be geographically close, but will always be very close when they get together.

“So, we’ll just meet up all over the planet,” he said defiantly, recalling one such past meet-up in Morocco. “Our relationship will never change no matter where we are or what we’re doing – and it’s a comforting feeling.”

I’m glad our visit, more her than me I’m sure, meant so much to him.

For me, Ukiah represented a bit of a finish line, though I still had the van sale hanging over my head. But we were in a friend’s home, not a hotel or Airbnb, and that seemed nice. And we didn’t have another destination to get to, again, aside from the last two-hour drive to sell the van.

It was fun for me to see the bond in action between Zach and Kirsti. The sarcastic comments, the nicknames (he calls her Krust, she calls him Sock), the smiles.

And Zach was a great tour guide, driving us to wine country one day for some tasting and wise-ass, stupid giggling over “wine trees.”

Don’t ask.

Then he toured us to Mendocino, a cool little town perched on a rocky cliff featuring little tourist shops and one super cool recycled driftwood store that made everything from the beautiful, ocean-seasoned wood. I brought home a little carved heart for Tania, to partially make up for the lawn debacle.

I will say, however, that Zach drove a little bit like a grand prix driver over the mountain to get there and I was regretting my offer to sit in the back seat to let them talk up front because my stomach started churning, like it did when I was little sitting behind my dad in a big Buick or Chrysler.

Back then, my mom would tell me to hang my head out the window for fresh air – instructions that would probably get her arrested today. I didn’t feel it would be appropriate on this ride either, so I dug in and tried hard to stay focused on the road ahead of me and sway with the turns.

I didn’t hurl.

I shot a lot of pictures of Zach and Kirsti in Mendocino. We took a pathway about 100 feet down to the water and I got action shots of Kirsti goofing around with a walking-jumping stick. She’s not very coordinated.

It was beautiful there, though, and I think both of them were doing a fair amount of reflecting on life. I got a great picture from behind them, as they gazed out over the ocean. I felt a little awkward at that time, like a third wheel. They were separating from me at times, on the beach, and I’m sure just wanted to chat and reminisce without my ears, which was totally fine.

Before my drive to Oakland, on my second and last day in Ukiah, I remember going to the local car wash to spray off the car one last time before hopefully selling it.

Brave of me, after the car wash debacle of a few days ago, right?

I went to pay and noticed someone had left a wallet on top of the pay machine. It had cash and cards in it, and I took it to the guys working there. They thanked me. I wondered, after I gave it to them, whether it got back to the owner. I wondered if I should have reached out and gotten it to him. I hope the guys were honest.

After I left Ukiah, Kirsti stayed with Zach for several days. They partied in Portland, Oregon and just did a lot of catching up and laughing, by the sounds of it.

Zach flew back east to attend Kirsti’s wedding in 2022 – but after being here a couple days, he got sick with COVID, which sadly kept him on Long Island and unable to come. It really bummed out Kirsti, to the point of tears.

But we both will fondly remember the oasis that was Zach’s home in Ukiah. The end of the road of this magical trip.